Planning your wedding requires a lot of decision-making. From the dress to the DJ, from the catering to the cake, from the venue to the honeymoon. But few are more important than choosing your bridesmaids. They’re your support group, your cheerleaders and your wedding day front line. They’re your girls that will be by your side on one of the most important days of your life. So naturally, you will need to select wisely. If the thought process of choosing your bridesmaids is leaving you feeling overwhelmed, try using these top tips to ensure you pick your perfect team A-team.
1. Think twice before you ask
As a general rule, once you have asked someone to be in your wedding party, you can’t go back on your word. From the minute you get engaged and the pure excitement sets in, it’s tempting to ask all your favourite people to be in your wedding party. DON’T! Take time, and if possible give yourself at least a month to mull over the options. Do you envisage being just as close to this person in five years from now? It’s a fair question to pose, as ultimately you want to remember and reminisce your wedding day with your loved ones for many years to come.
2. Stay tight-lipped and consider the size of your wedding
Use discretion in discussing your wedding party, especially in the early stages of wedding planning. Who you ask (and don’t) can be rife with turmoil. Sit down with your fiancé first to decide how large a wedding party you want, whom you want to include and whether you want to have an equal number of men and women before you start telling anyone. It’s personal preference as to how many (or few) bridesmaids you have. The average wedding party size is eight to four bridesmaids and four groomsmen so you could use this as a guide. Formality and personal preference will decide on whether to go smaller or larger. For smaller weddings with a capacity of 50-60 guests, no more than four bridesmaids would suffice. For ceremonies consisting of 150 guests or more, you could go up to ten bridesmaids if you really wanted to.
3. Yes, drum up the past
‘Chances are, anyone you’d want in your bridal party is someone you’ve known a long time. So, use this insight to your advantage to realistically gauge-and even predict-how this person will act in the course of your wedding planning and on the Big Day. Was she responsible and eager to be of service to a friend in need? Was she selfish and resentful? Well-intentioned, but slightly scatterbrained? Does she have a new boyfriend whom she’ll be draping herself over at your wedding when you need her help most? Is she likely to drink a bit too much and forget things? You get the idea.’ Bottom line: low maintenance friends and family make super bridesmaids’. Source: http://www.colincowieweddings.com
4. Set honest expectations
What sort of role do you want your wedding party to play? When you ask someone to be your bridesmaid, let them know your expectations right away. If each bridesmaid will be assigned a specific task, put it in writing so that everyone is crystal clear what their duties are.
5. Don’t ask someone just because they asked you
Although you might feel obligated to, you don’t have to ask someone to be at your wedding because they asked you to be at their wedding. Don’t ask the university flatmate you haven’t spoken to in five years just to return the favour. If, after all is said and done, there is still even an inkling of hurt feelings, take the time to sit down with the offended pal. Be honest and explain that it was a tough decision. But you really felt like you should have the people you feel closest to at this point in your life standing up for you. And, there are so many of those people (including her) that you had to leave out some very special ones. Erasing resentments is much easier when you’re up-front early on.
As tempting as it is to have as many bridesmaids as you possibly can, It’s important to keep in mind ‘quality over quantity’. Planning your wedding can be stressful, so you need your most loyal and dependable girls at your aid. In this situation the ‘more the merrier’ does not always apply. Concentrate on choosing bridesmaids who will make your wedding planning process much easier and fun.